Tales From A Broad

My year of teaching English in Japan is up. Next mission: backpack Asia before going home to the U.S.A. Currently HOME!


Starting now, I'm going to learn as many Japanese insults as possible. Why? Today while riding my bike, I got hit by a motorcycle b/c it thought it would be a good idea to not stop, slow down or even look both ways before passing through my lane--the bike lane, which had the right of way. Physically, I'm completely fine (save a sore tailbone) and my good 'ol grandma bike is still miraculously in good shape. What's bruised is my intellect. Out of complete anger, I wanted to tell him to piss off, but the only words that came out of my mouth were in English and Spanish meshed with polite Japanese (not b/c I wanted to be polite, but b/c it's the only thing I've been taught). I have no idea why. Once I realized how pointless it was to even try to yell at him, an overwhelming feeling of helplessness came over me. In the time I've lived here, have I really not learned any bad words in Japanese?* Shocking. The more I think about it, the most insulting thing I know to say is bokke nasu...in English, "You demented eggplant."

My friends, help a sistah out. Do you know any good insults to teach me? Preferably something along the lines of, "You're a dumbass." If so, send them my way. And believe me, such a noble favor wont go unnoticed.

*In my defense, Japanese doesn't really have "bad" words like English does. Instead, it's much more insulting to disagree with someone or simply take the "please" out of a sentence. What comes out is, by American standards, a very watered-down version of an insult. "What you just did was contradictory!" and "If you think I don't know anything, you're wrong!' are good examples.
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At 09:13, Blogger alex said...

Oh no, glad you're ok. I can't believe how bad they are at looking when driving here (or stopping when they have seen you). I don't know many (I think there were lots in the last zenzen though), but 'baka yarou' (?) is close to 'you dumbass'!! You'd probably be lucky if they hung around long enough to be shouted at though...    

At 18:12, Blogger Peupty Pants said...

LOL Christine my darlin, I do not mean to laugh because I am sorry that you were hit by a motorcycle. But I have to admit (don't get mad!) that the visual in my head is pretty funny! You get up off the ground pissed off and trying to verbalize your feelings and, unable to, you get even more frustrated! Poor thing! LOL I really am glad you are ok though!    

At 19:37, Blogger goongirl said...

what a shithouse week. I know you've reached your quota on police box visits this year but I reckon you should tell your supervisor and contact the cops. I could tell you some naughty words but they might hit you.
Chin up, you know my advice for anything.... ;P    

At 23:51, Blogger Victoria said...

baka yaro seems to work in most situations :)    

At 02:03, Blogger Cee Pee said...

Alex & Victoria: that's just what i was looking for, thanks soo much!

Jamie: yea, i looked like a perfect retard. it didnt help either that it was right during rush hour traffic. thanks for the support. ;)

Steph: i must have a curse on me or something. btw, still no word from the police about my wallet.    

At 02:04, Blogger J-girl said...

"Baka tare" (lit., "fool sauce") is meaner than plain "baka". "Kuso tare" ("sh*t sauce") is another. If you don't want to use "baka", another word for idiot/fool is "manuke". "Aho" is also worse than "baka" (at least in this area of Japan).

Glad you weren't badly hurt.    

At 02:06, Blogger J-girl said...

Oh, and add "yaro" to the end of all those and roll your r a bit.    

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